OMG...

From El Reg:-

Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog

A Serbian man who went to a witchdoctor in search of a cure for
premature ejaculation rather foolishly took the shaman's advice, viz:
have sex with a hedgehog.

You know the rest: Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, ended up in the
hospital with severe lacerations to his wedding tackle, according to
Ananova. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt
and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have
managed to repair the damage to his penis."

We contacted a member of the International Association of Witchdoctors
this morning for a comment. He told us: "This demonstrates the dangers
in consulting unlicenced witchdoctors. We advise anyone with
ejaculatory disfunction to consult our list of approved
practitioners."

On the matter of premature ejaculation, he added: "Mix one teaspoon of
powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon. Drink one hour
before attempting penetration while sitting in a pentacle formed by
toad skulls. Then, when you're on the job, think about the
mother-in-law and filling in tax returns."